datoneshortgirl:

tinymeatgang:

tiktoksithinkarefunny:

faithmp3:

the relationship women have with their own reflection…beyond complex

mockiato:

Every single one of these headlines sure is something

blagdogs-tveiter-tot:

wunderhorntanz:

gothhabiba:

ah yes, my favourite foreign language feel, “I know what all of those words mean individually but not together like that”

not to forget its twin “i know (roughly) what you’re saying, but what are those words?”

Plus the secret triplet “I managed to get your drift but I don’t know how to answer you”.

girl-in-the-hitops:

striders:

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker

doujinshi:

watermelinoe:

jackthevulture:

wtfenris:

toboldlylesbian:

waitress assigned kin

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)

understandager:

whatbethsays:

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.